What happens to kids going through puberty in a society that has forgotten how to mark these initiations? In a culture that emphasizes the individual over the collective, and that has forgotten our connection to nature?
My boys are 11 and 9. ❤️ There are so many changes happening right now in their bodies, emotions, social dynamics, and awareness. I think a lot about how to raise a boy “right,” and my work with Ayurveda, Somatics and women’s health has actually taught me something foundational, regardless of biological sex or gender:
These physical changes in our bodies – whether it’s puberty, motherhood or menopause – are initiations into our next level of experience, power and wisdom. And we need elders and mentors to mark those and help guide us through them.
As boys and hormonally male teens go through puberty, their bodies are flooded with testosterone, a fiery, yang, “working” hormone. Wherever one’s energy is focused, it will put a ton of drive behind it as they move through puberty into manhood.
If we had a society that emphasizes “The Village,” we would ideally have elders initiating them through this, helping them understand the force and power of their developing body. They would teach about healthy – rather than feral – aggression, and how to use that for taking action on what they want, and for protecting themselves and others. They would teach them accountability to the collective, rather than using that force for dominance and destruction. And when they mess up, they would be called in rather than cast out. They would teach them how to care for their body, mind and emotions by living in rhythm with the cycles of nature.
For girls and teens who are hormonally female, they would teach them the power of menarche, about bonding hormones like estrogen and oxytocin, and how they are embodying the ultimate creative power of nature. They would teach them about the social nervous system, and how females are even more attuned to the social dynamics of the group, and how we can tend to camouflage what we want or fawn over others when dysregulated. They would teach them about how rhythmic their bodies are – how to move through the day in rhythm with the cycles of nature, but also how their bodies will shift and change throughout each month. And that those changes are not weakness…they are connecting them to their innate vitality, power and wisdom. They would teach them about their hormones, and how to fuel their life through Source energy, rather than stress energy.
I may not know exactly what my boys’ dharma (life path) will be, but I do know that to nurture strong, resilient, humane teenagers and adults, I need to teach them how to stand steady in their physiology. Ayurveda and Somatics teach us how to do exactly that.
If you haven’t downloaded them yet, I’ve created two free resources with practical tools to help you and your loved ones cultivate their health and power by living in rhythm with nature:
For your seasonal rhythms, you can download my Seasonal Eating Guide with Shopping Lists. (Seasonal eating is for everyone!)
For the women and girls in your life, you can learn about your monthly rhythms: FLOW: A Menstrual Cycle Healing Guide.
One last thought…when my boys started getting into “Star Wars” recently, we had a talk about “the force.” Guess what the force is? It’s prana – life force. The force that flows through all living things. So when I talk about living in rhythm with the cycles of nature, we’re cultivating “the force” – our own vitality and life force that’s fueled by Source energy.
So you can be a Jedi master too.
Much love,
Courtney