Six months ago we adopted a puppy. Most mornings when I practice yoga now, Bodhi’s like, “Great! Excited to join you!” and inches his way onto my mat. For the last decade – ever since I’ve had kids – there have been a lot of mornings when I’ve had some small person or animal lying on me, talking to me, licking me, or sticking their butt in my face.
It’s not exactly how I imagined it would be when I started practicing yoga 25 years ago! Before kids, I had many years of long, quiet sessions of yoga practice and meditation. So when my boys came along and disrupted even those small moments of peace, it felt like a huge loss…like motherhood meant the end of my healing and spiritual practice.
Then one day, I was folding my boys’ tiny clothes (probably exhausted) and I realized, “Oh shit. THIS is the practice. This is the yoga.” All of those years had been preparing me for this very moment. All those years of yoga, Ayurveda and meditation were preparing to be thrown into this situation that would test every ounce of my mind, emotions, nervous system and physical body. Life was asking me, “Can you put this into practice? Can you put this into practice in a way that will nurture your closest relationships, form the next generation and teach them how to do it too?”
What good is our spiritual practice, our healing work, our efforts towards emotional and nervous system regulation if we can’t draw from it when the rubber hits the road?
This wasn’t a step down, it was the next level. It was the friction that was igniting deeper transformation. It wasn’t about finding steadiness in isolation. It was about building capacity to be in relationship, to be annoyed, to be in the world, without losing myself along the way. That doesn’t mean we’re always regulated. But it’s a call to be present, it’s a call to find an anchor within ourselves amidst the inherent chaos of life and to be that for others too.
This is my wish for you too…that you can still feel steady and alive even in the messiness and chaos of the world.
Much love,
Courtney